The road to the altar is not always red carpet and rose petals. For those who embrace challenges and obstacles the foundation is strengthened and the resulting bond becomes nearly unbreakable.
So it was for my friend and counseling opportunity early in my career.
David (named changed to protect the “guilty”) and I worked together in a large corporation. Daily I heard stories of his vacillating love/fear relationship with an unsuspecting fiancé, Rhonda, who attended medical school in a city four hours away.
As the date approached, his anxiety peaked and one day he announced that it would be best for both of them if he ended it now rather than face the nasty divorce he imagined was inevitable.
Not yet trained in counseling, I nonetheless decided to see if I could help him find peace. I knew that emotion is a clue to something from the past that haunts today and that a lot of times, once you identify the belief
From previous conversations it was clear that he feared losing himself – his identity – and losing his freedom – he had an active single, social life. He seemed pulled in two opposite directions – he wanted the promise of love, romance, family and he imagined that meant he would be required to change a lifestyle he loved and enjoyed. He also imagined that he would be required to trade fun, excitement and adventure for a lifestyle of responsibility, boredom and drudgery.
Long story short, with this young man in mind I pursued a psychology degree deciding that if I were going to be counseling, I had better do it intelligently. He also was an inspiration for the Belief Change – The Book, book.
We stumbled through identifying several sources of his negative image of marriage and family life. We revisited them through more mature eyes and understandings; he was able to see many more possibilities. Most importantly we discovered that responsibility, boredom and drudgery existed in his single life, may well be in the cards for his married life, but there could and would be opportunities for fun, excitement and adventure as well. Finally, we figured out that making plans for the future with Rhonda, talking through what was important to each of them about their married life, cleared the air and renewed their commitment to make their relationship work.
janet lee
Belief Change –The Book, available at Amazon.com (also available for Kindle download), Lulu.com and Barnes & Noble.com contains the famous 10 step Belief Change Exercise (BCE) that proactively, in the privacy of your own home, surfaces beliefs that sabotage your hopes and dreams of attracting an ideal soul mate, career, home… with the negative energy resolved, what you want to attract comes to you quickly, easily and naturally.
What barriers stand between you and what you want to attract? How are you dissolving those barriers?
Until next time, Namaste,
© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2010
Leave A Reply (No comments So Far)
No comments yet