What is the difference between being stuck in a relationship and choosing to be in a relationship?
As Tiger Woods said yesterday, “no one goes into a marriage planning to divorce.” So, where do people get the idea that once married and committed they no longer need to court and attract their spouse? Why would anyone think it is no longer necessary to do the things they did while dating – and even more – just because they said “I do”?
How do we define “love, honor and cherish”?
Perhaps it would be a good idea to agree ahead of time on what “love, honor and cherish” looks, feels and sounds like when work keeps you past 5pm or the baby cries every two hours or the kid’s multitude of extracurricular activities pull you in two different directions.
Remembering those times when you dated are special memories and anchors to the good stuff but life’s circumstances and conditions evolve, change over time – how can you weather those changes while growing better together than apart?
One way to potentially weather life’s storms is to anticipate the different life changes you will face together as a married couple and plan “safety net” intervention type of activities. For example, Tony Robbins teaches couples to have a phrase that signals “time-out”, let’s look rationally at what’s going on here! Typically, when you take this “time-out”, one or preferably both of you, detaches from the emotion of the event and is able to facilitate a positive outcome. My favorite way remains the “Life Long Date” or every day is Valentine’s Day. Stephen Covey advises us to literally schedule in those moments and methods when you communicate to the loved ones in your life – your soul mate – exactly how special and important they are to you. Flowers, gifts and night out at the movies are nice once in a while, but what about every day? My husband and I enjoy reminiscing about memorable moments or events in the evolution of our relationship; memories that bring back all the emotion we felt at the time. Sometimes we sit and listen to meaningful songs or, when we are apart, an SMS or email message with the words to one of our songs or code words we made up, lets the other know, “I’m thinking of you.” Most importantly, we continue to make new memories.
A friend recently gave us a wonderful complement. She said, “you don’t act like a couple married XX years; you act like a couple married 1 year.”
For more insight on how to keep your soul mate love alive and flourishing, the book Life and Love Extraordinaire, available at Amazon.com (including on Kindle) and Barnes and Noble.com, contains 100 inspiring soul mate stories. Tales of loves gained and lost, where and how they fell in love, in the words of the soul mates themselves. Their stories provide hints and clues but most importantly they inspire hope.
In this book you will also discover helpful hints, not only how-to attract the love of your life into your life, but also how-to keep your soul mate love alive. To activate the Law of Attraction, we introduce the concept of making a list of the characteristics you desire in your soul mate relationship. Then, once you are enjoying the love of your life in your life, to keep your soul mate relationship alive, dynamic and fulfilling, we introduce a lifelong date: that is, each day finding ways to win and renew your soul mate’s love.
What do you think of the Life Long Date Concept or Everyday is Valentine’s Day? How do you and your soul mate manage to keep your love alive? We would love to hear from you in the comment section below.
Until next time, Namaste.
janet lee
© jan gentleman-ingersoll Eastern Shepherd, Inc. 2010
Tags: how to keep love alive, Law of Attraction, Soul Mate Love, Soulmate love, Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Valentine's Day
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